Locksmithe
by The-7th-Star
Summary: The butt-kicking tales of the only sane one it the crazy-house known as Fairy Tail. (Or, Lucy Heartifillia is going to kill somebody again.)
1. Girl's night

Levy unrolled her sleeping bag while Lucy tacked sign on her windows, with "NATSU, KEEP OUT," written in bold, red, letters.

She watched the blond proceed to tape the windows shut, and attempt to block the chimney with wood, a hammer, and nails. She wondered why there was a welcome mat in front of the grate, but decided it was better not to ask.

The two friends had been planning this for a month and a half, gathering movie lacrima and spending a full day filling Lucy's fridge and cabinets with nothing but snacks and junk food. All week, Lucy had dropped less than subtle hints for her teammates, but mainly Natsu, to stay clear of her apartment for the night, before falling back to a good, old, threatening.

Levy and Lucy slipped into their PJ's, flipping the first movie on, armed with a massive bowl of popcorn and a nest of blankets on the couch. The first movie was your classic romance, an oldie but goodie that they had both seen before, and passed with little issue.

The ending credits were rolling, and the two weren't even the slightest bit sleepy. Lucy got up to put in their next choice, an action movie rumored to be based on fairy tail, but Levy pulled her back.

"Hey, Lucy?"

"Hmm?" Lucy sat down again, looked at Levy, blew her bangs out of her face the way Erza did on occasion, before pushing them back all together. They stood up at random angles, in spikes commonly associated with the fiery element and namesake of team Natsu. She had shrugged off her sweatshirt at some point during the movie. She was a mash up of her friends, and it showed where they rubbed off on her.

"Do you like anyone?" She would have paid for a camera at the moment, just to save Lucy's face for a laugh later on. It took a long drink of water for her to calm down, until her words were more or less understandable.

"No!" Her voice squeaked at the end, and she fanned her red face with her hand, a sweet gesture left over from her high-class days. She was an awful liar, Levy noted with an impish grin. Truthful to a fault, just like the rest of her friends.

"How about…" she trailed off, watching Lucy's face go a thousand shades of embarrassed. She was doing that thing where she wouldn't look Levy in the eye. "Natsu?"

"What about me?"

The two of them jumped, but Lucy, despite being flushed and nervous, didn't look all that surprised. Levy took a few steadying breaths, and Lucy looked like she was debating whether to combust or throw a fit as Natsu sat off on the window ledge, kicking his sandals to Lucy's floor before stepping onto her bed and sitting there. It was so nonchalant, despite Lucy's near hyperventilation. "Hi, Levy."

"N-N-Natsu!" It came out an octave too high, and Lucy cleared her throat nervously while Levy looked on in something between shock and amusement. Though Lucy was acting ridiculously cute, the fact that Natsu was _here_ was still a surprise. He sat down next to Lucy, then, throwing an arm around her shoulders. Lucy tried unsuccessfully to shrug him off.

"Natsu," she said pointedly, her blush fading, "what did I say this morning?"

Levy made herself comfortable. They were practically a soap opera.

"Umm…" Natsu frowned. "To… stay away from your apartment tonight?"

"Yes." Lucy rubbed her temples. "And?"

"That you'd sick Erza on me if I-"

"Why am I killing Natsu?"

It was comical, the way it steadily got crazier, and the way Lucy seemed more and more accepting by the minute. Levy had to wonder how often this happened, and how Lucy ever got a full night's sleep. Erza took her station at the fridge, rummaging around for the cake she had left there the other day. It was untouched. Lucy knew better than that.

"Why are you here?" Lucy moaned, covering her eyes. "And don't you ever knock?"

"We're all family in Fairy Tail, Lucy," Erza lectured sternly. "Family does not need to knock."

Levy couldn't help but snort, and Lucy groaned dramatically, sinking back into the couch. Natsu looked at the pile of movie lacrima, before selecting the action one they had been about to watch and starting it up. The whole team was there, Happy pawing through Lucy's clothing. Except for Gray. He had always seemed the most sensible of the team, Levy found herself thinking. And he would never spend time with Natsu voluntarily-

A crashing sound from the fireplace brought Levy back to reality, and the wood fell to Lucy's previously clean carpet in pieces.

"Wipe your feet," Lucy grunted. She shrugged apologetically at Levy.

"Why's the fireplace all blocked up?" Gray brushed some ash out of his hair. "And I'm using your shower."

"It was _supposed_ to be a girl's night," Lucy muttered. Levy could only laugh.


	2. Poker

Lucy Heartifillia, ex-heiress, mage, and writer extraordinaire was not quite sure how she had been roped into this. It wasn't the craziest thing Lucy had been roped into. It didn't even make the top twenty. She still remembered the time Natsu had managed to convince her to blanket sled down the guild stairs and out to the streets while wearing Erza's armor. (It hadn't ended well, and rent had been the least of her problems that month.)

But if they were playing poker, well, Lucy was going to take advantage. She hadn't played in a while but there were some things you never forgot how to do. (Like blanket sledding.) And her rent was coming up.

"Fold."

She had lured her guild mates into a false sense of security. It was ridiculously easy. It took a bit of giggling at her cards and fake ignorance and a bad play or two while she took the time to study her friends' skills.

Erza had great strategy and a rotten poker face. Natsu, surprisingly, or perhaps not, was incredibly difficult to read. However, his grasp of the game was fleeting at best.

"Not bad, Lucy." This was Cana. She was probably one of the best players when she felt like it. Her grin hinted not at her cards but at Lucy's joke. They had played together before, and the game had been long and fierce. This one, however, had more of a relaxed air. Cana was barely trying.

Poker face secure, Lucy winked, feigning a blush. "Beginners luck?" she offered, voice sugary sweet and flavored with feigned innocence. They should have known.

"You'll get it eventually," Gray promised. His face was a mix of pity for his teammate and excitement at getting Lucy back for the time she had replaced his shampoo with a mixture of glue and bleach. (It had taken forever to get out and the color still wasn't quite the same.) It wasn't _her_ fault that he had used her shower without asking.

Again.

Cana snorted in amusement, her drink shooting up her nose and sending her into a wheezing fit. Lucy handed her a tissue, patting her back.

"Beginner's luck," turned into "potential," which turned into "raw talent" which soon became "what the hell did we get ourselves into?" Loke, who had joined the game when Lucy had, was rendered broke first, Natsu and Erza two rounds later. Laxus had joined, as well as Gajeel, Levy, and Lily, thought the latter two didn't last very long. They were rendered moneyless within three rounds of their entry.

Cana had pulled out, simply to watch.

It would have been better if the others had dropped out while they still could. But Fairy Tail was nothing if not competitive. And Lucy was playing toe to toe with the most competitive of them all.

And winning.

She was in the thick of it, in her element and it showed. Stacks of coins piled up around her, along with the carious odds and ends the others had bet when they were out of pocket change and betting money. There was no fake innocence on her face at this point. Just the emotionless mask of a skilled poker player, cold, calculating, and blank.

After all, what was politics other than a game of chance with twice the risk? Lucy's entire life had been a game of manipulation and luck. While she no longer wore her poker face daily, a little trickery had never hurt anyone in the thick of a battle. She could calculate and out bluff any mage opponent with her life on the line.

Cards were a breeze.


End file.
